The Sibling's take on loosing a baby

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I got on to facebook and found that my mom had posted the article "Why We Should Talk about our Children who have Passed", written by Washington Post. I opened it up and read it, realizing that I have a hard time when it comes to telling people how many siblings I have that I have one alive and that one was miscarried and the other lived for eight days before passing. I am one that doesn't like the pity response of, "I'm so sorry." For me it happened and that's the way of life. But yet when those that I do tell, and are understanding and are willing to listen, it means a lot and I feel that they genuinely care. Many times have I heard of other parents talking about their young and knowing that they went through some of the same things that my parents went through. But I rarely hear from those who were siblings and went through the process with their parents.

As a sibling it is hard not only to watch your parents go through the heartache and it is also hard to not think about the what ifs. Like what if they made it, what if they were still alive. When my parents lost the baby, I lost the chance of growing up with a brother. My life could have been way different if he would have survived. On July 27, of this year would have been his 16th birthday. I would have had a sibling just taking their driving test for the first time. Instead of there being two of us kids, there would have been three. Maybe he would have helped me to become more interested in sports when I was younger. Thinking about how my sister and I would have had to share a bedroom, while he got his own. But maybe we wouldn't be living in the house we are in now. I would have had a sibling closer in age to me than the six years apart between my sister and I. There is always those thoughts about what could have happened.



Yes, I am sad that the chance to have grown up with a brother did not happen, but I am so thankful for the eight short days that I had him. As Christians who have lost loved ones, we can look forward to the one day that we will see them again. There are these things that happen for a reason even though we may not understand at the time, but through the years, I have been able to relate to those who have lost loved ones and been there to be a comfort.

As a sibling going through this time of losing their sibling, I am very grateful for the involvement I was able to have while Josiah was alive. Even while mom was scrap booking, she let me help and even let me do one page by myself. I am still very grateful for the support that our family has received before, during and after he was born.